Intentionality is Everything

Time is Finite. What Will You Do With Yours?

Over the last decade I have tried to be intentional (not always successfully) about certain things - my physical health and keeping depression at bay. However, intentionality always wasn't a priority in other areas of my life. 

Going through the motions. Get up. Go to work. Respond to emails. Go home. Cook, Clean. Play with the kids. Laundry. Sleep. Repeat. We sometimes begin doing these things with a bit of intent, but it can slow succumb to a mindless routine. 

A routine that can often leave us feeling neutral or depleted at the end of the day. 

Things started to change for me after I had my baby (she was 2 last June). I was 41 years old with a newborn. Clearly I wasn't a spring chicken anymore. I had this overwhelming sense of urgency that I didn't want life to keep ticking by the way it had been - just going through the motions - hoping for change, but doing nothing to instigate it. 

During that time I watched a video that compares the days we have in an average life to a big box of jelly beans (I posted the link here - WATCH - it's interesting).

When we're young it seems like we have an endless supply of jelly beans (days), until we realize we don't. Our lives are finite. I often feel like an awkward 15-year old, yet clearly I'm not 15 anymore. I am officially middle-aged. Yikes. I know I look young for my age & I certainly feel young a lot of the time (except when I'm chasing my two-year old around the grocery store), but the truth is I have spent close to half of my jelly beans. 

I spent several months wrestling with this profound realization. It was a difficult time. Really difficult, but important. I'm grateful for it. When I was contemplating what I should do with the rest of my jelly beans, one of my friends told me about the book The Desire Map, and said "Go Big, or Go Home!" That phrase stuck with me.

It's been a big motivator for what I am doing now. 

I made a commitment during that time to be more intentional with my time. 

I'm practicing intentionality now, not all the time - sometimes I catch myself going through the motions, not paying attention, but it's getting much easier. 

I still have a lot I want to do, experience, and feel. My story's not finished yet, and I want to be the one who chooses the ending. 

The Intentional Life. 

If we often find ourselves going through the motions when do the things that take up the bulk of our time - like when we drive to work, clean the house, eat a meal, what happens if instead we stop and take note of why we are doing these things? 

When I drive to work I choose to think about what I'm going to do, who I am going to spend time with or support in some way or another. I think about what drew me to that job, and even if some of my job feels like drudgery, what lights me up about it. I guarantee there is something however small. 

I'm cleaning my house as a service for my family, for me. As much as they sometimes bring me to my wits end, I love them wholeheartedly. I'm giving to them, when I clean the house. I also feel more content in my soul when my home is clean. I am practicing mindfulness or stillness in my mind as I wash dishes, sort laundry or vacuum.

When I eat, I think about how I am nourishing my body. I think about how this food will make me feel after I eat it. I stop to enjoy the tastes, smells and textures. 

To practice more intentionality, pause before doing something.

Be still, even for a second.
Close your eyes if you can.
Ask yourself some questions; 

Why am I doing this? 
What is the deeper purpose behind the why?
Is it inline with how I want to feel? 
How will I feel after I do it? 
What happens if I decide not to do this? 
Am I doing this out of kindness or compassion for others, or myself? 


Intentionality With Words...

When speaking (or writing); 

What are my intentions with what I am about to say/write? 
Am I saying them out of anger, frustration or malice?
How do I think I will feel after I say them? Will I feel good or bad?
How do I think the words will be received by the person I am speaking to? 
How will these words affect the relationship? 
How will uttering these words affect me, and my perceptions of the world?


These are the first little steps in creating an intentional life.