Intolerance Always Breeds More Intolerance
Even if an off-handed comment seems innocuous, it's not.
I am more and more aware of the idea that small things compound into big impact. Impact on us as an individuals, and also global impact.
One seemingly little thing we do, think, or say is not a simple one-off event. Over time we are changed by these small choices we make–changed for the good or the bad.
This week the event in Orlando and the global conversation about love and acceptance for our LGBTQ communities has really hit this point hard for me.
The little things we say, and the intentions behind them MATTER.
Each word, thought, and intention adds to the creation of a new or building of an old paradigm/reality.
Paradigms that are growing every single nanosecond.
Do we want to create paradigms based on love, acceptance, empathy or compassion, or do we want to continue feeding the world with hate?
(The rest of this article was written last week before the horrific event in Orlando.)
Who finds themselves getting annoyed on social media from time to time? Oh my, oh my. As part of my self-care, I have learned to control my Facebook settings so that generally I don't see a lot of things that make me angry. However, the odd thing gets through that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Recently I have noticed a few negative messages about Americans being posted by Canadians. Sure there is quite a dog and pony show happening there right now, and the political system is quite different than what we have here in Canada, but I cringe every time I see a broad sweeping comment putting down a gigantic people group. Just because these people happen to live in the lower 48 doesn't make intolerant comments like that ok. (On a side note, I know and love many amazing Americans.)
Americans as a whole are not marginalized–in fact they are a world superpower! So who cares about making an unkind remark about Americans? It doesn't count. It's no big deal at all.
I challenge that. I think it is a big deal. It is a huge deal, not because of the effect is has on the superpower south of Canada, but because of the effect it has on us, and the way we train ourselves to think.
Realistically the impact Canada has on individuals in the US is just about nothing. BUT, if we start making judgemental comments about any large people group (whether it be Americans, parents, women, men, people with blue eyes, brown eyes), I believe it's a gateway to other forms of intolerance.
We all have an impact or even an energy exchange with people around us. Look at these examples:
A family from the southern United States just moved into your Canadian neighbourhood. The 12-year old is in school with your kid. This new kid is already feeling awkward, and she really didn't want to move here in the first place, but a difficult divorce made it necessary. Some of her classmates have heard negative comments about Americans, and they think she has a weird accent. They make faces at her in the halls, she eats lunch alone every day. She cries herself to sleep every night.
The refugee family from Syria who just moved into a rental down the street from you. If you knew what they had to go through to get here, it would make you cry.
The person you see walking down the street who looks and smells like he hasn't showered in weeks, as you pass him you clutch onto your purse extra hard–you never know about these types. What you don't know is that he just got out of the psych unit, because of a suicide attempt. This person has 2 degrees, a well-paying job and a family, but his mental illness is taking everything away from him right now.
The mother who looks zoned out while her kids are running around the grocery store being a nuisance to all the other shoppers. What you don't know is that she is a single mom out of work, with no family and her bank account is down to $500–she doesn't know how she is going to pay for her groceries and the rent that is due in a few days.
The no-nonsense police officer who pulls you over for speeding, and writes you a large ticket, despite your pleas. Such a jerk–you think. What you don't know is the day before she was on the scene of a fatal car accident where family was killed, and is feeling personally traumatized by what she saw.
I could go on and on with analogies like this. If we allow our brains to think in a way that allows intolerance (even seemingly innocuous thoughts), where is the line? When does a thought or a comment cross the line to judgemental and hurtful intolerance? If there even is a line, it is very blurry.
When we allow even a "little" intolerant comment (about a person or people group) come out of our mouths, it is setting our mind's stage for more of more. It's allowing our brains to fill in the blank with information that simply isn't true.
And if we say this one comment this time, we will very likely go a little further, and further still the next time.
We get to where we get because of little choices we make. Good or bad. Thoughts breed similar thoughts.
What we focus on expands.
What we think about becomes our reality.
I'm going to be bold here and say that what we say ALWAYS matters.
The language we choose to use ALWAYS impacts us and the world around us in micro ways.
Micro movements lead to macro impact in the world over time.
(It always matters, but we want to create space for grace and forgiveness for others and ourselves.)
"As a man speaks, not only is the thing which he is declaring
coming into existence, but also the man himself."
~Martin Heidegger
"Thinking prevents the unconscious from speaking."
~Thomas Merton