Kicking Resistance to the Curb
Do you find yourself immobilized by too many choices, only to end up not choosing anything?
Well...I'll let you in on a little secret. Read on.
“Most of us have two lives:the life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance. ”
I have always known this, but it's becoming clearer and clearer to me as the years pass. Sometimes I get stuck by too many options and I can't figure out what to do next.
Options that begin to feel like clutter.
Unfortunately this feeling of overwhelm/clutter that should be relegated to a thrift store, or a kitchen drawer, finds it's way into the rest of our lives. We get bogged down in deciding what to do for self-care. Should I eat–vegetarian, vegan, paleo, organic, gluten free...oh crap. I'll just eat a donut and be done with it.
Here's a little secret I've learned recently....when you considering making a choice that supports your health and wellness, CHOOSE. JUST CHOOSE! ANYTHING.
The reality is that WE are often the biggest cause for resistance in our lives. We can get in our own way.
Doing something, anything–can be the catalyst, or the welcome mat, for more beautiful change.
Yet choosing can be so hard, and what if I'm not really committed ? I should probably do more research on this that or the other thing, before I really commit.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
I know there can be a ton of pressure to figure out where we want to be in say, 10 years. Then we figure we should work backwards in an effort to reach that goal. How much pressure is that!? I don't know about you, but I don't want the pressure of where I'm going to be in 10 years affecting each and every little choice I make.
The thing is that most of our passions and bliss are discovered on accident.
When you reach out of your comfort zone and try something new, what if that leads to something else you would have never, ever thought of?
And that thing leads to something else, and wowee–you have just discovered your superpower.
Typically we don't like change, even if it's a good change. Resistance is a natural humans state, we all feel it. Sometimes it's important to take head to resistance.
Other times the resistance comes from plain old fear. When we face that fear, challenge the resistance, then whamo, we are so thankful we engaged in a fist fight with our own personal resistance!
(As we become more mindful and self-aware, we can notice the difference between resistance from fear and resistance backed by our inner wisdom. Two different things. Generally for me, resistance ins more often caused by fear.)
I'm realizing that I can try something new without signing over the deed to my home. I can give it a whirl. Who knows, maybe I'll like it. Maybe I'll even fall in love with it.
What if the simple act of choosing something is all I need? What if that is the answer?
Choosing, and moving forward with an open mind.
Here are some ways we can kick resistance to the curb:
Create space for new. Creating space means getting rid of what doesn't serve you anymore. Do you have a routine, a hobby, an expense, relationship or stuff that is holding you back? Even a job you're not happy with can hold you back. Purge, purge, purge. I love how Stephen Covey speaks of sharpening the saw in his book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". He talks about the ridiculousness of trying to use a dull tool that doesn't do its job anymore.
See the world through the lens of ABUNDANCE. There are a lot of amazing opportunities out there. When see life through a worldview of abundance, we realize that money comes and goes. It flows. It's OK to invest in something that gives you life. A lot of us waste a lot of money on things like coffee, and a muffin at a coffeeshop. What happens if we allow ourselves to take that money and instead spend it on some a personal development class, a new book, yoga, or a new hobby.
If you hear of something that peaks your interest. Listen. Get curious. Explore. Don't let it get pushed to the back burner. Most people who are world-class dancers, inventors, writers (etc) got into their field because of curiosity.
When we are gripped by fear, spend some time contemplating why. Question everything. Always. Your body and mind holds the answers. If we are patient with ourselves, and ask the right questions, we will eventually discover the reason why we are fearful and we can then address it.
Let go of any self-imposed pressure. I have some friends who are so easy going. They're like, "let's just try it, if it doesn't work...it was a great learning opportunity." I have watched those people closely. I work hard to learn from them and let go of the perfectionistic pressure I can sometimes put on myself. They are so wise.
If something sort-of resonates with you, but it's not a resounding yes, try it anyway. Sometimes just the act of doing, is enough to challenge the resistance. I recently went to a 3-day conference. I wasn't sure about it, but I went with an open mind. Some things didn't resonate, but the things that did...well I felt a HUGE shift. It was so worth the 3 day time investment.
Tap into your inner resilience. Human beings have a profound ability to grow and survive in the midst of strife. Fight fear and resistance with your inner resilience. You've been through a lot to get to the place you're at now. You've got this!
The opposite of resistance is ease. Invite ease. How can we bring ease into our lives, rather than fueling resistance? For example: if lacing up your running shoes and starting a running regime seems really hard, what about going for a nice walk in the woods or around your neighbourhood. Starting with ease and working up to running a marathon is often easier for some most of us.
We put so much pressure on our choices to be the one thing that changes everything. However, it often doesn't work that way. Think of choices being keys that unlock other doors to new worlds, some we will love, some we will just look around and move on.
Exuberant wellness is usually a culmination of many things. Most importantly a shift in mindset–fueled by curiosity.
Life has seasons.
Some seasons are beautiful and carefree, some are much harder to get through. The goal is to feel grounded, have direction, purpose and self-guidance to be able to navigate through the good times and the hard times. We create resilience to withstand the harsher times, but increasing our self-care and inner resilience.
In the midst of winter, I found within me there was an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger–something better, pushing right back.
–Albert Camus