Your Value Doesn't Decrease Based on Other's Inability to See Your Value

I have a friend named Gina.

Gina has an absolutely amazing story. She spent many, many years living in a state psychiatric hospital dealing with a serious mental health issue. 

Today Gina is living a very, very full life. She travels literally around the world sharing her story, and the research and evidence that indeed recovery from serious mental health challenges is POSSIBLE. 

I had the pleasure of sharing a keynote address with Gina in Calgary a few years ago. She is pure light. She radiates. When she shares her story, everyone just looks at her shocked that this tiny firecracker of a woman has such a history of struggle. 

I wish I knew who to credit for this graphic...but alas, I don't.

Every time she speaks, she pulls out a crisp twenty dollar bill. She asks the audience if they would like that fresh bill. Of course everyone yells "YESSSSS!!!!" Then she scrunches the bill up in her hand, tosses it on the floor and stomps all over it. 

She holds the now crumpled and tattered bill up to the audience again, and says, "Now do you still want this?" Knowing that a crumpled $20 bill is still worth as much as a crisp $20 bill, everyone yells "YESSSSS!!!!" 

Such a powerful object lesson.

It's the same for you. You have so much value even when you feel crumpled, tattered and worn down by life.

Yet it is the absolute hardest to see our own value when we are feeling depleted, or if we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we aren't good enough. 

Why is it that the value we see in ourselves seems to come from how others perceive us? 

We are bombarded on a daily basis by stories, pictures, social media posts that continuously make us feel less-than everyone else. It's overwhelming, and we get sucked into the lies that we aren't good enough. 

There is a constant insatiable desire to gain external validation from others. We look to see how many "likes" we get on social media. We wait to hear what others think about our work, before we celebrate our successes. We practice our art in the dark. We are worried that others won't like our creations, or worse yet, no one will notice it. 

All of this keeps us small. 

It's so important to hold external validation very loosely. If I define my worth, by the encouragement/validation I get from others–when I don't get what I think I need, I'm going to sink into a really dark place.

Sometimes when we receive feedback about an opportunity for growth/improvement, if we don't honour ourselves, it can feel like a slap in the face. Part of owning our value is having grace for ourselves. No one is ever perfect. No one. What if instead we listen, decide whether or not we want to take that feedback, and we make a choice to not let it affect how we value ourselves? 

What if we start to change our paradigm? What if we realize our own value as a stand alone from what anyone else thinks? 

You are part of creation, YOU ARE ENOUGH! Just as you are, right now. 

No one else may have witnessed your genius, maybe you haven't even discovered it yet, but you are still golden.

You are light. You are luminous. 

You still have a golden nugget within you that is worth so, so much. 

Just like that crumpled $20 bill, you are VALUABLE.

Regardless of how you may feel.

Regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

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